Monday, 1 February 2010

White Goat Toilet Paper Making Machine

This is just so daft you think it must be a spoof. But, no, I think they are for real. It is a machine waiting to go into commercial production. And it won an award!

Estimated cost is $100,000. Such a massive amount that you would personally have to get through a lot of toilet paper to justify buying one. At treecycle recycled you can get 96 rolls of eco-friendly loo paper for $72.50. That's $0.75 a roll. The monster machine called the 'White Goat' makes a roll for $0.60. However, the machine takes hours to make a roll and must consume a lot of electricity which must surely negate the potential $0.15 saving.

On top of that the toilet paper shown on the video looks so thin that it might disintegrate before it gives you a satisfactory wipe.

And finally, where did they get the name from? White Goat? Are goats known for their high standards of anal hygiene? Do people subconsciously want to wipe their arses with a white goat? Is there a masturbatory (randy as an old goat) subtext going on? Perhaps they could install white goats in public high schools and then kids could shred their exercise books to make useful wank cleaning material. After all they don't provide paper towels in school lavs.

And anyway make what you will of the White Goat toilet paper making machine. For me it typifies a certain brand of insane entrepreneuralism which sums up Japan - let's take something incredibly simple and make a machine that can automate the process that seems really modern, eco and cool and sell it to our foolish population. They might, however, have missed the boat. Companies are firing not hiring, and certainly don't have $100,000 knocking around for a toilet paper making machine. Besides it takes up the same amount of space as a toilet would. They also missed a crucial function. They forgot to allow the user to accessorize the made toilet paper. Surely your own hello kitty toilet paper would be the envy of all your friends?

My idea. Why not get workers to bring in all their old newspapers and make them use that to finish off their washroom doings. The newspapers could be encouraged to use non-run ink so employee behinds would not be left with any press smudges.

1 comment:

  1. This is a poorly thought out post, but being UK I can understand why. You're obviously never worked in an office, so you don't know the true waste there is!

    There are companies in DC that charge thousands for destroying documents. This will not only do that, it will also produce a usable by-product.

    The machine could be tax deductible. A public county office could have one for one building, the tax man and even the military benefits services could benefit.

    How many times in the news have you heard of people having personal information stolen? Periodically cities and towns have "Shredding Days" for people to get rid of personal info that needs to be destroyed. This is a wonderful idea, PLUS by-product can be donated to locale parks & rec's to the community benefits!